


Of course...

by myqueenyoursavior



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 10:32:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8398165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myqueenyoursavior/pseuds/myqueenyoursavior
Summary: Based on this:
Can you imagine if somehow Regina thought that her attraction and love for Emma was part of her “dark side”, an impulse that needed to be suppressed; because of how she has seen same sex couples treated in our society compared to how they were seen in the Enchanted Forest?So, can you imagine Regina turning to face Emma right after she crushed the Evil Queen’s heart, and her mind going immediately like: “I am so in love with you,” while taking in all Emma’s beauty; and then her mind going: “Oh, shit!” Because she just realized that what she feels for Emma is just pure and simple, and is always going to be a part of her, no matter what part is left. Can you imagine that? Because I just did…





	

Saying she was confused was an understatement: one minute they were chasing Henry in New York; the next, Snow was offering her a large needle. It was a serum to separate the evil part from herself.  
  
She had mixed feelings for a moment. Sure, she wanted to get rid of the Evil Queen, but she didn’t know what she’d be without her.   
  
She quickly found comfort in the words of her friend: she knew now that Snow had forgiven her. She knew that she wasn’t saying it just to get rid of her darkness. Snow only wanted her to be happy.  
  
And then there was Emma. Emma who was telling her that she didn’t have to go through with it if she didn’t want to.  
  
She was sure she had both women’s support whatever was her final decision.  
  
Looking at Snow, her thoughts kept going back to one thing: she didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. She didn’t want to have the constant reminder in her head of all the terrible things she had done. Or worst… she knew she’d never forget them, what she didn’t want to keep was the reminder of how much she had enjoyed them at the moment.  
  
She needed a last little push, and that’s when she looked at Emma. Here she found another reason to use the serum: she was sure all the feelings she had for Emma were part of her evil side.

The blonde had reawakened emotions in herself she didn’t think she’d have ever again. Emotions that had been buried deep inside of her the moment she had arrived to Storybrooke. Sure, in the Enchanted Forest she had been with both women and men. She had never stopped to consider that might have been wrong. She had even had a somewhat serious relationship with Mal. But getting to this world with the curse, she had learned that not everyone looked at it that way. There were not only different ways to describe different types of attractions, there was a huge taboo about them. And there was a lot of discrimination and hate. So, she had buried those emotions deep into herself, the same way she had done later on with her feelings of revenge.

For the first 28 years those feelings almost never came up. She was extremely attracted to Ruby, and for that reason she had made sure to pass by the diner every morning when she knew Ruby would be there. She had never acted upon that attraction though.

To satisfy her needs, at one point, she had started sleeping with Graham. Which was a huge mess in itself, now that she thought about it in retrospective. Was that considered rape since she had been holding his heart? She had been asking herself that question for the last couple of years. Whatever it really had been, Graham had been her distraction, and that was all she really needed when it came to her sex life.

That until Henry hadn’t brought home his birth mother. The moment she had laid her eyes on the blonde, she had felt things she hadn’t felt in years. Yes, her attraction for Emma was also mixed with a lot of anger, but that was what had made it so interesting at first.

  
So now, her only option was to get rid of the darkness once and for all. She couldn’t have acted upon her feelings even if she thought they were good. Emma was with the guyliner, and she needed to move on.

 

The moment she had crushed the EQ’s heart in her own hand, she quickly turned around to face the other two women waiting for some kind of reaction from her.

She glanced at Snow first, who was nodding in encouragement  and smiling widely.

Then she looked at Emma: all those feelings she was sure she had just gotten rid of, came rushing up again; and they were stronger than ever. It was all still there, both the deep love and the strong attraction.

That left her standing there, her mind working hard and quickly to find a reason as to why the feelings hadn’t disappeared.

The attraction had definitely been fueled by her dislike for Emma, there was no denying that. There had been several times in which she had imagined how rough the sex would’ve been just because of that. But it was just that: sexual attraction.

Then, after the curse had been broken and she had started to see how much Emma had believed in her… that’s when she had started being fond of the blonde. She had never had someone believe so much in her and her need to change, that was one of the first things that had started to fill a hole in her heart which had been empty for a long time.

Then Neverland had happened, and their mutual goal of finding their son had strengthen her feelings even more. The time on the island had also been a period of jealousy for her: she had to witness Emma interact not only with her ex, but also with the pirate who didn’t want to get a no for an answer. She hadn’t had time to react to that or to do anything, that she had to give up on both Henry and Emma for a whole year.

When Emma had arrived back to Storybrooke with all of her memories, she had hoped she would’ve had a chance, but timing had been a bitch once again. Emma was still being chased by the pirate, and all that was left for her to do was fall into someone else’s arms. She didn’t believe in fairy dust and all that crap, but she needed to believe she had another chance at love; even if it wasn’t with the person she wanted.

Her mind kept working really hard throughout all her memories: going through all the meaningful looks they had exchanged, all the times they had sacrificed themselves for the other, all deep conversations, every single time they had believed in the other, their shared love for Henry.

Remembering all those things, she finally realized why the feelings were still there: her love for Emma Swan was pure and simple. It didn’t need to be hidden away or suppressed. It was good and real, and it was part of herself, no matter what part was left.

 

She was coming up from her deep haze, when a last thought hit her.

She parted her lips slightly before murmuring: “of course… true love is magic.”

“Regina?” was Snow calling her back to reality. She wondered how many times she had called her already.

“Are you okay?” asked Emma, an underlining of desperation and worry behind her voice.

“I am okay,” she replied at last, with a smile on her face “better than I have ever been.”


End file.
